What Should I Say?

Hey! I'm back with information that I have been learning recently in Ms. Wolfe's Academic Leadership class. This week we are talking about how people see themselves and what can be some serious outcomes. One serious question that we focused on today had to do with what some people may have on their mind: "How should I tell my friend that I think he/she has an eating disorder?" These few simple and easy steps can probably help you figure out how to do this and how to help your friend get out of a serious problem.

P.S. This can work for almost any problem.

1. The first step would be to find a place where you could sit down with that person and have a serious talk. Make sure there are no distractions around you because he/she won't really listen to you.


2. The next step is to recap on moments that you felt you knew what was going on. For example, "I remember when we went to the resturant in San Fransico, you ..." and continue with what you have been noticing.


3. Step number three: ask your friend to talk about your concerns with a professional. For example: doctor, counselor, nutritionist and any other professional with knowledge about these types of things. Also, make sure you're the one who scheduled this appointment and go with them to make sure they actually go.


4. Next, try your best to avoid arguments. If your friend refuses to accept the fact that you might know about their secret, simply restate your feelings and show them that you will be a supportive listener.


5. Step number five: do not make your friend feel ashamed or guilty. Try not to say the "you" statement. For example: "You need to stop being like this!" Try to say "I", that way, they'll know your concerned about them. For example: "I'm concerned about you because.."


6. This next step is a step that I think is the most important. Do not make them think there is any easy way out, but at the same time, let them know that you are there for them. Try not to say something like "If you stop, everything will be okay." This is not good because you're not letting them know the reality; they have a serious problem and it's not an easy way out.


7. The final step is to simply remind your friend that you're there for them and your willing to give them all your support, love, and care.